Where You Are

Mark Doty

1.


flung to your salt parameters           in all that wide gleam

unbounded edgeless             in that brilliant intersection


where we poured            the shattered grit the salt

and distillation of you             which blew back


into my face stinging            like a kiss

from the other world            a whole year


you’ve languished blue            in ceaseless wind

naked now in all lights            and chill swaddlings


of cloud never for a moment            cold you are

uninterruptible seamless           as if all this time


you’d been sleeping          in the sparkle and beckon

of it are you          in the pour of it


as if there were a secret               shining room

in the house and you’d                merely gone there


we used to swim         summers remember

naked in those shoals      now I think was I ever


that easy           in this life

fireworks remember       Handel an orchestra


on a barge                     in the harbor and fountains

spun to darkness                      flung in time to


the music scrawling heaven                like sperm like

chrysanthemums bursting                  in an enormous hurry


all fire and chatter                    flintspark and dazzle

and utterly gone                   save here in the scribble


of winter sunlight                    on sheer mercury

when I was a child                   some green Fourth


flares fretting               the blueback night

a twirling bit of ash                  fell in my open eye


and for a while I couldn’t see             those skyrockets

is it like that now love             some cinder


blocking my sight                    so that I can’t see you

who are only for an hour                    asleep and dreaming


in this blue                   and light-shot room

as if I could lean across          this shifting watery bed


and ask             are you awake


2.         Everywhere


I thought I’d lost you. But you said I’m imbued


in the fabric of things, the way

that wax lost from batik shapes

the pattern where the dye won’t take

I make the space around you,


and so allow you shape. And always

you’ll feel the traces of that wax

soaked far into the weave:

the air around your gestures,


the silence after you speak.

That’s me, that slight wind between

your hand and what you’re reaching for;

chair and paper, book and cup:


That close, where I am: between

where breath ends, air starts.


3.          Van Gogh: Flowering Rosebushes: 1889


A billow of attention

enters the undulant green,

and so configures it

to an unbroken rhythm,


summer’s continuous surface,

dappled and unhurried,

—though subject to excitations,

little swarms of shifting strokes


which organize themselves

into shadow and leaf, white starbursts

of bloom: a calm frenzy

of roses. His June’s one green


unbordered sea, and he’s gone

into it entirely—nothing here

but the confident stipple

and accumulation of fresh


and silken gesture, new again

in a rush of arrival. Don’t you want

to be wrapped, brocaded,

nothing to interrupt


the whole struck field

in the various and singular

complexity of its music?

To be of a piece with the world,


whole cloth? These little passages

accrue, differ, bursts of white roses,

ripples and striations; what’s Van Gogh

but a point of view? Missing


from the frame, he’s everywhere,

though it would be wrong

to think him at the center

of the scene: his body’s gone,


like yours. Rather it’s as if

this incandescent stuff—

a wildly mottled Persian scarf

whose summary pattern


encapsulates shoreline and garden,

June’s jade balconies of wave

and blossom tiered, one above the other,

in terraces of bloom—


were wrapped around him,

some splendid light-soaked silk

weightless, motile, endlessly figured

and refiguring: gone into the paint,


dear, gone entirely into (white rose

& leaf, starry grasses) these waves

of arriving roses, the tumbling rose

of each arriving wave.


The Yale Review is committed to publishing pieces from its archive as they originally appeared, without alterations to spelling, content, or style. Occasionally, errors creep in due to the digitization process; we work to correct these errors as we find them. You can email [email protected] with any you find.

Mark Doty is an American poet. He is the recipient of the 2008 National Book Award for Poetry, and his works include My Alexandria and Heaven’s Coast: A Memoir.
Originally published:
October 1, 2007

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