There Are More Ways to Show Devotion

than even the complexity of the shadow, dragging

my own darkness behind & beside me

on a day I do not want to get out of bed I lift

an arm & darkness expands on a white wall

a wound sealing itself over the promise of moonlight

& this is how I remind myself I am not dead

yet

even in stillness I am a straight line projected somewhere beyond

myself raised gently into the dwindling brightness a casket waiting

to be swallowed but it isn’t all bad

have you considered your own loneliness is simply a lack of imagination

a child is crying on a plane, devastated by the volume & velocity

that leaving and returning requires

a man lifts his window & makes his hands into what the shadow

translates into a bird its wings flapping slowly along the airplane’s side

& the child sighs with the sweetness of disbelief

there is a bird in my backyard & it is dead in an unremarkable way

storm or electricity or hunger

I reach my palm toward the light & my shadow holds the dead

in the darkness I make I apologize for a world that could not keep you safe

I apologize for the white wall & all I’ve asked it to forget & re-learn

but now we’re talking about eternity & I prefer a god who makes no promises

beyond the one that says at the end of it all there will be a shovel

& someone

will have to do the digging.

Hanif Abdurraqib is a poet, essayist, and cultural critic from Columbus, Ohio. He is the author of several books, including There’s Always This Year, A Little Devil in America, and They Can’t Kill Us Until They Kill Us.
TAGS
Fall 2024
Originally published:
September 9, 2024

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